Cause I Care For Him A Lot...

But apparently i am naive. 

Apparently he knows EXACTLY what he means to me--and still he creates this distance, but still pretends to be interested....?

If this isnt confusing i don't know what is. 

All i can say is that that conversation did not sit well with me. I even almost told him things i've been dying to for weeks now--so glad i didn't.

End decision--No more effort towards him. In fact, i will do what i can to avoid him. I'LL create the distance that I need to be able to move on--ya know, so i can  naively fall for the next charming guy i think is absolutely wonderful, then be assured after months of him proving himself so, that i'm not good enough...ya know cause i'm 20--i have no experience.

Such a swell night turned so utterly awful--great.