Saturday, November 19, 2011

Meloncholy......

Hmmm....im just. bleh.


I feel so lame.  All i do is work. I can't keep a guy around to save my life. My grades aren't even that impressive.  I have nothing to offer people except maybe a ride around town, or favors sometimes.  

Most the time i'm able to understand that i'm still an interesting person that people want to be around. But i am surrounded by SO MANY strong personalities that i doubt my appeal to others.  I'm ok when i am doing things--like such as work. (I know that sounds stupid, "Like such as," but i meant for it to...).

Most days i am too busy to think about what is hurting my heart, but sometimes i do get a chance to stop, and breathe, and attempt to relax....to feel.  I don't like it.  I like just ignoring the icky feelings.
I'm not depressed. 

I'm not crazy.

  Just going through a rough time, Everyone has rough times, and sometimes they last longer than an hour, or a day, or a week--sometimes even more than a month.  That's what i keep telling myself anyways, it makes me feel less pathetic i suppose.

I'm learning--once again--to be happy with myself. If you can't handle single life, then there is no way you can handle married life.  

I want to be someone worth marrying, someone worth sacrificing for....worth spending eternity with.

........That is my focus right now. Between the ups and downs---i'm going to be a better me.

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