Here's The Deal...

Sheesh. I'm thankful for being a human being. I'm thankful for the emotions we can feel, and the passions we can have.  But sometimes, i just don't enjoy the hurt that comes with those things.

The boy and i are no more. That is ok though because he doesn't really know what he wants, and i need to be honest with myself.  

I want Adam.

I've known that the whole time. I've known that since April--if we're really being honest. 

Adam probably wants nothing to do with me anymore though--he seems very cold towards me whenever i see him; which is almost never, so i rather relish those occasions, except not really anymore because he never seems too happy to see me.

Anyways, i was reading in D&C section 52 and verse 4 said, "And inasmuch as they are faithful unto me, it shall be made known unto them what they shall do;"  I needed that.  It is a reminder that i simply need to keep being righteous.  I need to keep working on making myself worth having around instead of looking for someone else worth having around.

The Lord knows me personally--thank goodness--and he understands how i work, how i think, and how i cope.  He blesses me with the ability to handle everyday life in a way that is compatible with the person i am.   I am so thankful for his tender mercies.  I would not be able to successfully navigate my way through this turbulent life without divine guidance and protection--no way.