Welp....

so i did it.  

However, I couldn't just say the words. I NEEDED to SAY the words. But i couldn't.

It really is for the better though, and i know that.  

I guess I am just sad that yet again, im even less important than I thought. 
I'm easy to toy with, and even easier to let go.

Wonderful.

I also realize that it was nothing--really.  Except in all reality it was somewhat of my focus for the last 3 or 4 months so it's not really nothing at all. It was something--if only to me.
No matter.  Its better to learn to not want that, then to be unhappy only having a little here and there giving me false hope. 

.........ok. no more dramatic. I leave for home in exactly a week. I'm stoked.