Hmmm...

Very insightful Talk today.  It kind of made me really sad--but in a good way?

He is so great, and makes me want to be better.  I see only goodness.
 

I have a lot of growing up to do....things are in better perspective now.

My Daddy....

He has told me this more and more as of late.  I suppose he gets tired of seeing me put my all into a relationship with someone who could honestly care less.  But i came across this and it reminded me of his wise words. 

Today, Morgan and i decided to write letters to ourselves, then give them to each other to send back to ourselves in a year.  I started writing mine--it's going to be a nice novel read when i get finished.  I truly hope that the things i write can help me in a year from now.  Some of the things i have written so far seem odd to me--but i can only assume that i'll need to hear them when i read them again.

I am very excited to get it--even though i already know what it says haha.   

I have written about people that are prominent in my life right now--it'll be interesting to see where they are in a year.  Still there. Far Away. Will i remember them? Oh of course--unfortunately i never forget the people i make a priority in my life.  They tend to forget me, but i never forget something i've investing my heart and soul in.  

I leave on thursday.  Before then i must:

1. Pack my apartment

2. clean my apartment

3. some how come up with $60 more dollars

4. take boxes to my bros house

5. Pack my car

6. get my window somehow miraculously fixed

7. .......i feel like there is so much more, i guess we will just see what i remember in the next 3 days.

AHHHH! 3 dayssssss! i cannot even wait!

FHE was great tonight.  I like my bros and sisters very much.  to bad thats the last activity with them :/

ok-goodnight!

I've Decided....

The Lord knows what I need more than I do.  I just wish that he would give me a little more insight sometimes--haha.  

Also, I do not like fake people. Not necessarily fake but--inconsiderate.  I feel like, as a fellow human being, that i deserve the straight forward truthfulness that a person has the capability of offering.  Make up your mind and let people know.  Don't make excuses, and don't try to drag things on longer then they need to be.  Life is short--too short!  Too short to be left wondering, trying to fix something that doesn't have a chance, and too short to be left unhappy when really--you have everything in the world to celebrate.

Which brings me to my next thought.  I am so blessed, and so thankful for my life.  In a world where there are so many health problems, mental ailments, diseases, tragedies, etc., i am so blessed to not be plagued with any of that.  Granted, i have problems of my own--but to me they all seem very manageable and simply temporary. In a world where there are so many things to plague our bodies and minds both naturally and brought on by man's stupid mistakes/decisions, i have been blessed to escape it all thus far.  I know that tragedy does fall upon everyone, and i am not of the mind set that "It could never happen to me."  I am simply thankful for the blessings in my life that have spared me such pains so far.  

I do also know that, when seemingly insurmountable trials do come---and i realize full well that they will undoubtedly come--they will only make me and my family stronger. When hard times come, it is because HF knows that we are ready to grow.  Simple as that. 

.......Not sure if this makes sense as i sit here typing it out.  I have a hard time getting what is in my head out onto into words and sentences that make sense or that mean what i am trying to say.  Oh well, i know what i mean and that is good enough--besides, who really reads this thing anyways :)

Finally, on a somewhat more sad note--I watched this today.  It is a truly inspired message that just hit home more then i thought it would. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWQ5dPeixdw )  I'll admit i got teary eyed. Maybe cried a little. And sat in awe at how real this is.

No Experience Is EVER Wasted...

^^^Wise words from a wise woman.

I decided that I will make a great wife to fight with.  When i am mad or upset or angry--i'll just clean the whole dang house. Sweet deal eh?  I just cleaned a good portion of the apartment, and honestly, I am feeling good right now--a little less pathetic, which is great! 

Staying home was a good idea.  I know myself, and this is what i needed.

I found this quote, and I love it, and also i try to live it.  of course i slip up, and let the natural man get the best of me--but i try my best........

"Rules For Doing Good:

Do all the good you can, 

In all the ways you can, 

To all the people you can, 

In every place you can, 

At all the times you can,

As long as ever you can."

Agreed.

Welp....

so i did it.  

However, I couldn't just say the words. I NEEDED to SAY the words. But i couldn't.

It really is for the better though, and i know that.  

I guess I am just sad that yet again, im even less important than I thought. 
I'm easy to toy with, and even easier to let go.

Wonderful.

I also realize that it was nothing--really.  Except in all reality it was somewhat of my focus for the last 3 or 4 months so it's not really nothing at all. It was something--if only to me.
No matter.  Its better to learn to not want that, then to be unhappy only having a little here and there giving me false hope. 

.........ok. no more dramatic. I leave for home in exactly a week. I'm stoked.

3 Little Words...

In 3 words i can sum up everything i have learned about life...

It Goes On....

Happiness :)

For a long time it seemed to me that

life was about to begin--real life, but

there was always some obstacle in the 

way, something to be gotten through

first, some unfinished business, time

still to be served, a debt to be paid.

At last it dawned on me that these

obstacles were my life. This perspective 

has helped me to see there is no way

to happiness. Happiness is the way. so

treasure every moment you have and

remember that time waits for no one. 

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

                                   -Souza

I'm On The Edge Of Glory...

Gosh. Tonight--interesting.  For the first time in quite a while i was legitimately offended.  I know we choose to be offended but goodness, i was seriously unhappy.  Relationships and such are my thing.  Like that is something that i am really good at.  I like caring for people and being the rock that people can lean on.  I am a good girlfriend, dare i even say great.  Ask anyone. I am fiercely faithful and do whatever i can to build my relationships on trust--so when what's his face continues to go on about how i would not make a good spouse in the future and that the way i conduct myself in relationships is wrong and unfaithful---ya i got a little pissed.   great night--until that little spat.  I'm not a grudge holder, but this was just a little unsettling. 

But then, i got to thinking.  Breakups are harsh. People say mean things.  Things that cut deep.  I don't want to deal with that. It hurts. I'm scared. I'm tired. I don't want to do it---not right now anyways.  Besides, after this semester---the one that started out so successful--i need to learn to be happy solely with myself again.  All this second guessing myself and wondering what's wrong with me that i'm not good enough crap has got to go--as well as those individuals who have helped to instill those ideas in my head. 

I realize that this post seem super dramatic and like i hate the world, but never fear.  I'm still happy. I still love people. I am still very thankful for my experiences and the lessons learned from them.  Each day i become a stronger more capable Katy--and for that i am grateful.  This was just a bit of venting--which is what a blog can be good for right?? Right.

"Edge Of Glory" by Lady Gaga ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeWBS0JBNzQ )

This Is Where We Use To Lived...

The Song is "The Old Apartment" by the Barenaked Ladies. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ggJS0p-QQc )

Now--My trip to Washington.  It was what i needed i think.  Not only to support my little man Ashton, but to come to a few realizations that I needed to, well, realize......

I'm just going to post a bunch of pictures pretty much.  We spent a lot of time in the car, and hiking/site seeing.  The kids were super cute and i miss them already so much! 

There was this one moment in time when all awkwardness melted away.  Judgments were gone. Happiness was present. The warmth of a family glow lingered for a minute or two.  It was almost that picture perfect scene that you see on tv--but it was real, and had not happened in quite some time.  It was simple enough: Chris and Merrill in the front playing basketball with the kids while Alison drove Driggs around on the bike.  Grandparents and Aunts sitting and watching, smiling--dare i say laughing and enjoying themselves.  It was bliss, even if only for those 5 or 10 minutes.  I've learned to never take moments like that for granted---you don't know when they will come again. 

Picture time:

Tanner and Brayden were very into my fake RayBans.  (Some have called them tacky--but we won't name names or take offense, because we know these sun glasses are awesome!)

Brayden was fun to watch sleep--in a non creeper way.  He had some interesting sleeping positions.  This one was the winner :)

McCall.  She is a beautiful girl.  Her fire red hair, which matches her personality perfectly, and her light blue eyes. look out boys!

 Shoshone falls.  You know on the movie "UP" how they want to go and live on the edge of paradise falls?  I want to live on the edge of Shoshone falls.  Oh and i still want to adopt a chubby asian and name him Russell.  FYI future Mr. Rickertsen ;)

Then there is Brayden being all stinkin cute! i Love that little boy :)

They were being statues......the longest i have seen them hold still for-----45 seconds or so haha

Once we got to Washington we went for a hike to some more wonderful waterfalls.  They were quite spectacular as well.   The hike was absolutely beautiful. 

Brayden and Tanner kept picking me flowers.  This is just one of many from the bouquet of flowers i collected.

 

I absolutely L-O-V-E-D being able to spend the weekend with these sweet kids.  They are wonderful and made me feel just genuinely happy. 

Avery and her salamander "Stickey."  She was like me little girl--although i am only her aunt, we were so stinkin close before she left.  I miss her like crazy and our bonding experiences.  It was so great to see her....she has lost like SIX teeth! 

The man of the hour Ashton Stone Hemming.  I am so proud of this boy.  Through it all he still made the decision to get baptized.  He was so excited.  He is such a great example to those around him :)

Pictures with some of my favorite people.  Alison is a freakin rockstar and i realized after seeing her and talking with her after more than a year, that i miss her more then i ever though possible.  It was wonderful to see her and get time to hang out.

The grand kiddies, minus Driggs.  McCall was having a rough time as you can see--she was less than thrilled to pose for pictures...

That is one photogenic family :)

Ok. Whew! sorry for the lack of details.  I'm lucky i even put up what i did cause i'm just so dang lazy with this blog lately that i don't feel like doing much to update it.   Hopefully that will change. Enjoy :)

 

Have A Little Faith In Me...

Ok. So. I'll post about the trip next. But this first.  

I am currently at work for a grueling 6 1/2 hours...can you sense my excitement?  ...........ya.  Anyways.  I was "stumbling" and I came across this article/list this man wrote about the 50 things he has learned in his 50 years of life.  These are the few that i really liked.  I'll put the link at the bottom so you can read it in full if you so desire :)

These are the golden nuggets I picket out...

1. It’s better to sing off key than not to sing at all (I love this one! I know that i am NOT a singer, but i love to do it--especially in the car)
2. Promptness shows respect
3. The most valuable thing to have is a good reputation, and it’s neither hard nor expensive to acquire one: Be fair. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Be generous. Respect others.
4. Keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.(Amen!)
5. It may not feel like it, but it’s good luck when you have people at home and at work who aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong
6. Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.
7. It’s never a shame when you admit you don’t know something, and often a shame when you assume that you do
8. Wounds heal faster under bandages than they do in the open air. (I'm a firm believer in dealing with things quietly to myself---A.K.A. don't be a drama queen.)
9. Fear of failure is a ticket to mediocrity. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not pushing yourself. And if you’re not pushing yourself, you’re coasting.
10. Candor is overrated. It’s hard to unsay what you’ve said in anger and almost impossible to take back what you’ve written. (I've learned this lesson more times than i would have liked)
11. Mental illness is as real as diabetes, arthritis or any other disease, and no more disgraceful. It’s the stigma that’s disgraceful
12. In crisis or conflict, always think and act strategically. Take time to figure out what the “winning” outcome is for you, then work toward it.
13. The store-brand jelly, cereal, paper goods, baking supplies and pharmacy products are good enough(As a poor college kid, i could not agree more!)
14. When you mess up, ’fess up. It’s the fastest way, if there is one, to forgiveness
15. Be truthful or be quiet. Lies are hard to keep track of(It's not a fun life to lead when it is one full of lies--i know)

http://blogs.chicagotribune.com/news_columnists_ezorn/2008/01/50-things-ive-l.html

Also. i watched "Benny and Joon" with my roommates and i LOVE that movie. So cute.  This song was from it.  "Have a little faith in me" by John Hiatt  ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aYxMuLb3h8 )

Best Thing I Never Had...

Oh my goodness.  It's funny the way things are, the way things go--and hardly ever the way you plan.  My life, as of late, is a perfect example.  I Love my life, and i appreciate the different courses it has taken without my planning.   All things are for the best--and being directed by a much higher and wiser power.  

Nicole and i have been going on our late night date nights and they are real good.  We went to FHE on monday and oh man! We have tri tip steak and chicken and cookies and salad and rolls--who eats like this at church functions?? We do apparently and i am mighty ok with it.  Then we went and had some more fun that night.  We died our hairsssss! I am brunette once again.  I'm not a huge fan of it though.  It's not too shabby, but i do like the blonde better, so when i go home i'm going to go back.  here is a picture of it--i died a blonde streak--it's not that great because i just woke up an di look like death, but its all i have...

so ya. then last night we got some dinner and went to IF. it was real good as well.  I love her, she is so great and we are friends :)

Then later last night. oh gosh. i just don't even know.  super cute--but it makes me even more scared.  who knows??  ---obviously not me.
H
ere are some pictures of the night that i hung out with the hemming fam in If and Alison.  McCall was apparently cold in that 80 degree weather so she was wearing this real cute beanie...

and then, for dessert--after having AMAZING enchiladas made by Alicia--we had brownies, and McCall just couldn't get enough...

That's real attractive baby girl :)

I can't wait to go for Ashton's baptism tomorrow.  A Long drive ahead but it is going to be so great! i'll tell ya all about it when i get back!

Here is the song for today.  Ironically enough, i heard it last night when i got home around midnight.  I
 just kinda sat in my car and listened to it.  Good song. "Best Thing I Never Had" by Beyonce ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwMsWjrlu54&ob=av2e )