The Update...

1. "Adam" ended things--over text.  I guess i can't be mad because the first time i tried to end it that is what i did.  i just thought we were better then that now.....i guess not.  

2. I got the job at Sports Authority!!!! I get 25% off everything! and so far, it works quite nicely with my hart equipment room schedule--nice!

3. My home teachers are awesome!  so awesome....i'm dating one of them.  Ya i know--peeing in the pool, yet again! i can't help it, it feels soooo gooooood.........anyways.  He is so stinkin cute.  like i can't even explain. i just notice that when i think of him i get this BIG smile on my face--i like it.

4. I am doing decently well in school.  I have two jobs and 16 credits i'm trying to accomplish right now--eeek!

5. I'm not going to Boise this weekend :( i am super bummed about that.  This trip has been planned since the beginning of the semester, but since i got this job, i have to work and stay here.  I miss Morgan soooo much! will too i guess ;)

All in all, life is so good.  Don't get me wrong--there have been very difficult days, a few tears here and there, and many moments of utter discouragement, but this path of mine is divinely guided and i see the hand of the Lord in my life every day.  I am so thankful for that. 

:)

Oh Gosh...

I feel like such a jerk.  I was really very rude to him last night.  It was nice to accidentally run into him, no doubt, but it's just ironic that it happened THAT day.  

Work was interesting. I found out things that just made me feel so....horribly embarrassed.  I felt like a fool. Unwanted. A joke......Typical :(

I am just frustrated is all.  I should have just told him that.  He asked repeatedly what was on my mind.  I'm really bad at taking those opportunities when i need to.  No matter, this is something i can learn from.  I'll explain my crazy head next time i see him.  

I loved the conversation--i always do.  But it makes me happy--incredibly so--that he trusts me.  

Alright, that's all. i'm just being plagued by my stupidity right now haha :)

When All Else Fails, Blog...

So many emotions lately.  But, life is still good.  I get very confused about people and situations and the path i am suppose to take, but then there are days and moments that are granted to me where i can see exactly where i need to go and exactly what i need to do.  It is within those days i find strength and determination to be the best i can be, even despite my downfalls and the harsh realities of this world.  

I have come to KNOW that it is a true blessing and gift that i am here.  I have met people i needed to meet, experienced things i needed to experience and learned the lesson i needed to and could have only by being here when i was.  I also know that i need to stay here.  I need to be here.  Regardless of other people--ANY other people--i need to be here for me.  Beside my loving and wonderful parents, there is nothing for me in colorado.  In order to continue growing the way i have been, i need to be in Rexburg, Idaho.  Never thought i would say that but, alas, it is true.  My roommates are wonderful, the environment is inviting of the spirit always, the people are wonderful and have so much goodness, and i am happy and successful.  

I need to be here. 

I am excited however to go home for thanksgiving to see my parents and Lucy!  I am always so happy to see them and spend some quality time with them.

I have an interview on thursday at Sports Authority in Idaho Falls.  I hope this one is promising.  I'd like to have a solid job by Nov. 2nd so i know i will be able to pay for my contract at sunrise village, also i can buy a plane ticket for christmas, and also so i can sign up for my class i need to take.  

Things are good.  They are happening how the Lord would have them happen, and as always i am learning patience---every day--sometimes even every minute.  Its a struggle, but one i am so very thankful for.

I Can't Keep Up...

I can't keep up with my own life.  Everything is ALWAYS changing! but I feel as though that means i am doing what is right.  I feel good about where I am.

School is still going decently well, I still have A's and we are like a month into school or so...? That is pretty swell.  Also, there is a boy.  No big deal, let's not get too excited--it'll probably freak him out! ;) haha for anybody who knows the story--that right there is funny, maybe a little harsh though.  We are going to give it another go.  He makes me happy, and i'm comfortable talking to him, and we click in a lot of ways; im excited to see him and when he texts me i get those stupid little butterflies in my tummy....that hasn't happened since "Adam" and so i do not want to give up the possibility of something good.  I'm moving on, but i'm happy with it--mostly :)  Anyways, i'm still happy with me, i do not need a guys interest in me to ensure i'm worth something, and that is SO freeing. I love it!

Also, i love making friends.  I have met so many people in the last couple months--and especially the last couple weeks--that i just absolutely adore! people have so much to offer and they are just so great to have around.  I decided i like being social--or whatever--i like being there for people.  College is such a great experience that just seems to get better and better with each new day.  

I know i've said it before but, seriously, EVERYDAY i learn something new, or my view on certain--often time "Controversial"--topics change.  I think the change is in a good way, almost as if the Lord is telling me to put aside my pride and natural man thoughts and just open my heart to what is true--not necessarily popular or easy--but true.

Anywho.  I love tuesdays. Class gets out at 11:15, devotional, lunch, nap, and then the not so great part--work.  It'll be a good day though :)

Blessings, Blessings, Blessings....

So.  The Lord is just really looking out for me and my family lately.  It is SO swell.  My wonderful Father got his CDL License and i could not be more proud or more excited for the good things ahead for them.

Also, i love my bishop and Stake President. They are absolutely fantastic!  So firm and no none sense, but very loving and just worried about saving souls.  I am so blessed to have them helping me and everyone within their ward and stake.  

I have a job interview today at a hotel in Idaho Falls.  If i get it...oh man, oh man.  Possibilities.  I just fear that not all will want to take advantage of such possibilities....hahaha....haha...ha....ummm, ya.  If not, at least i'll know for sure, and besides this is a great opportunity for me even just by itself.  Plus that means i have a job for the winter, which means i can take that BIO 230 class and then apply to the Social Work Program sooner! I just wanna get on with it, i want to be into my career alreadyyyyy.

So.  When everything was so incredibly stressful and like it wouldn't fall into place--i felt peace.  Then it all came together.  slowly but surely things are working together for my good.  

I got a blessing from my wonderful home teachers yesterday and what i remember from it is that they blessed me to know why i make the decisions i make and that i can feel confident in the decisions i make.  I feel like i needed that so much.  There have been decisions that i haven't understood when i made them, but knew that they were right.  More and more my faith is growing and i am coming to a better understanding of how to trust in the Lord--he knows the end from the beginning.  

Things are still hard, but i am happy and very hopeful for the future.  Good things to come i'm sure :)