And Now.....

Good things all around!

No massage therapy school.  I think that was just my thing to tell people. People are nosey, and they need to know you have a plan.  I didnt really have a plan--and i didnt feel good or passionate about my "plan."  

But now. I think i've got one. It feels good!

Also--the car accident turned out to not be so awful afterall. My wonderful mama found me a nice toyota corolla that is MANUAL! how fun! i'm going to pick it up when i go home next weekend. Also another bonus--going home! man, i'm stoked for all of it!

Today i don't have to work till 4 so i slept in, got ready, went to lunch--had amazing mexican food--and now i'm at the library catching up on all my thingssssssss.

Life is just kinda really super swell right now.  

Im staying busy and that has done wonders for keeping some things off my mind--winning! 

So....

I Miss You.

The you that you use to be.

The you that made me want to be a better person.

I catch myself thinking about you--all the time. 

Thoughts of you, of events, of how i wish things could happen--could've happened--always running through my mind.  

Thoughts of those wonderful conversations, your spiritual strength and wisdom.

Thoughts of how everything seemed to change--so suddenly. so drastically. 

Done is Done. I understand that. 

I just miss you.

wtf?!?! (What The Freeeeak)

Why am i SO irresponsible lately? gosh darn it. 

Late to work on sunday---shouldn't have been working anyway.

Late to work today....by a whole HOUR! i didn't even know that i had to work. shoot!

Then i get home, and i see that i left my bathroom light on. What the heck. I'm not trying to be reckless but i tell ya--i sure am succeeding!!

.....its ok, my mind is just frazzled i guess.  always going and always thinking--unfortunately.  It'll get better, ill be back to the old me haha--hopefully!

Today...

I was super bummed that i had to work easter sunday--a sunday at all really. I woke up late, and was 30 minutes late to work--crap.


But the day went by decently fast. I simply did sudoku all day (thanks to tanner, my 7 year old nephew, teaching me how).


I was talking to Taryn about recent events. She said she was proud of me for sticking up for myself. I am proud of me for sticking up for myself, too.  I have never really done that--especially with someone i liked so much. 


....then i had the audacity to start doubting myself.  Did i over react? I let it happen last time, why not that time? was i unfair?


NO! Taryn assured me that what i did was in fact the RIGHT thing to do, and no one could take that small triumph away from me.  


That Tiny Victory was good for me--granted the result hurts like......well....hell.........but i can live with that.  I stood up for myself. I stood up for what was right. I stood up for my happiness. I stood up for my future--i want more than that.  


In a strew of many hard days (already passed, and yet to come) today was a good day.