Hmmm...

Very insightful Talk today.  It kind of made me really sad--but in a good way?

He is so great, and makes me want to be better.  I see only goodness.
 

I have a lot of growing up to do....things are in better perspective now.

My Daddy....

He has told me this more and more as of late.  I suppose he gets tired of seeing me put my all into a relationship with someone who could honestly care less.  But i came across this and it reminded me of his wise words. 

Today, Morgan and i decided to write letters to ourselves, then give them to each other to send back to ourselves in a year.  I started writing mine--it's going to be a nice novel read when i get finished.  I truly hope that the things i write can help me in a year from now.  Some of the things i have written so far seem odd to me--but i can only assume that i'll need to hear them when i read them again.

I am very excited to get it--even though i already know what it says haha.   

I have written about people that are prominent in my life right now--it'll be interesting to see where they are in a year.  Still there. Far Away. Will i remember them? Oh of course--unfortunately i never forget the people i make a priority in my life.  They tend to forget me, but i never forget something i've investing my heart and soul in.  

I leave on thursday.  Before then i must:

1. Pack my apartment

2. clean my apartment

3. some how come up with $60 more dollars

4. take boxes to my bros house

5. Pack my car

6. get my window somehow miraculously fixed

7. .......i feel like there is so much more, i guess we will just see what i remember in the next 3 days.

AHHHH! 3 dayssssss! i cannot even wait!

FHE was great tonight.  I like my bros and sisters very much.  to bad thats the last activity with them :/

ok-goodnight!

I've Decided....

The Lord knows what I need more than I do.  I just wish that he would give me a little more insight sometimes--haha.  

Also, I do not like fake people. Not necessarily fake but--inconsiderate.  I feel like, as a fellow human being, that i deserve the straight forward truthfulness that a person has the capability of offering.  Make up your mind and let people know.  Don't make excuses, and don't try to drag things on longer then they need to be.  Life is short--too short!  Too short to be left wondering, trying to fix something that doesn't have a chance, and too short to be left unhappy when really--you have everything in the world to celebrate.

Which brings me to my next thought.  I am so blessed, and so thankful for my life.  In a world where there are so many health problems, mental ailments, diseases, tragedies, etc., i am so blessed to not be plagued with any of that.  Granted, i have problems of my own--but to me they all seem very manageable and simply temporary. In a world where there are so many things to plague our bodies and minds both naturally and brought on by man's stupid mistakes/decisions, i have been blessed to escape it all thus far.  I know that tragedy does fall upon everyone, and i am not of the mind set that "It could never happen to me."  I am simply thankful for the blessings in my life that have spared me such pains so far.  

I do also know that, when seemingly insurmountable trials do come---and i realize full well that they will undoubtedly come--they will only make me and my family stronger. When hard times come, it is because HF knows that we are ready to grow.  Simple as that. 

.......Not sure if this makes sense as i sit here typing it out.  I have a hard time getting what is in my head out onto into words and sentences that make sense or that mean what i am trying to say.  Oh well, i know what i mean and that is good enough--besides, who really reads this thing anyways :)

Finally, on a somewhat more sad note--I watched this today.  It is a truly inspired message that just hit home more then i thought it would. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWQ5dPeixdw )  I'll admit i got teary eyed. Maybe cried a little. And sat in awe at how real this is.

No Experience Is EVER Wasted...

^^^Wise words from a wise woman.

I decided that I will make a great wife to fight with.  When i am mad or upset or angry--i'll just clean the whole dang house. Sweet deal eh?  I just cleaned a good portion of the apartment, and honestly, I am feeling good right now--a little less pathetic, which is great! 

Staying home was a good idea.  I know myself, and this is what i needed.

I found this quote, and I love it, and also i try to live it.  of course i slip up, and let the natural man get the best of me--but i try my best........

"Rules For Doing Good:

Do all the good you can, 

In all the ways you can, 

To all the people you can, 

In every place you can, 

At all the times you can,

As long as ever you can."

Agreed.

Welp....

so i did it.  

However, I couldn't just say the words. I NEEDED to SAY the words. But i couldn't.

It really is for the better though, and i know that.  

I guess I am just sad that yet again, im even less important than I thought. 
I'm easy to toy with, and even easier to let go.

Wonderful.

I also realize that it was nothing--really.  Except in all reality it was somewhat of my focus for the last 3 or 4 months so it's not really nothing at all. It was something--if only to me.
No matter.  Its better to learn to not want that, then to be unhappy only having a little here and there giving me false hope. 

.........ok. no more dramatic. I leave for home in exactly a week. I'm stoked.

3 Little Words...

In 3 words i can sum up everything i have learned about life...

It Goes On....

Happiness :)

For a long time it seemed to me that

life was about to begin--real life, but

there was always some obstacle in the 

way, something to be gotten through

first, some unfinished business, time

still to be served, a debt to be paid.

At last it dawned on me that these

obstacles were my life. This perspective 

has helped me to see there is no way

to happiness. Happiness is the way. so

treasure every moment you have and

remember that time waits for no one. 

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

                                   -Souza